This Sunday we had a guest pastor who gave an overview of Proverbs. As he was speaking my mind began to wander and I started thinking about my favorite verse in Proverbs: As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly. Proverbs 26:11*

Pretty gross but it is memorable and gets the point across.

That led to me thinking about other crude and gross verses in the Bible which then led to to thinking about our Christian culture and our emphasis on being “proper” and “polite” and “dignified.” Sure, all of those things have their place and we shouldn’t be rude and crude just for the sake of it but sometimes it is necessary.

Toward the beginning of Ezekiel, God has him lay on his side and drink specific amounts of water and eat specific amounts and types of beans and grains. Somehow, its all supposed to symbolize the siege of Jerusalem or something. Then God tells him how he is to cook it:

Eat the food as you would a barley cake; bake it in the sight of the people, using human excrement for fuel.” The LORD said, “In this way the people of Israel will eat defiled food among the nations where I will drive them.” 

Then I said, “Not so, Sovereign LORD! I have never defiled myself. From my youth until now I have never eaten anything found dead or torn by wild animals. No unclean meat has ever entered my mouth.”

“Very well,” he said, “I will let you bake your bread over cow manure instead of human excrement.” Ezekiel 4:12-15

Alright, that’s just gross.

Ok, that stuff is sort of borderline. I could see a pastor explaining it from the pulpit, maybe a few people would be offended but no big deal. Its just poop, its not like it was crude talk about sex. That would be going too far.

Uh oh…

Later in Ezekiel, God is talking about Jerusalem and using the metaphor of Jerusalem being a prostitute:

There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses. So you longed for the lewdness of your youth, when in Egypt your bosom was caressed and your young breasts fondled.

Ezekiel 23:20 

Uh… did he just say “genitals like a donkey?” And I’ve never seen a horse’s emission but I get the picture.

Now, that crosses the line of decency. You just can’t talk about that stuff in church, it wouldn’t be proper.

*You know the song “As the Deer?” “As the dear panteth of the water so my soul longeth after you…” I’ve always wanted to make a version called “As the Dog.” “As the dog returns to vomit so a fool repeats his fol-ly.” It’ll be the next “Lord I Lift Your Name On High” I tell ya!]]>