Last week, I decided to shave my goatee for the heck of it. Apparently, this added about ten pounds to the look of my face because I had several people at work ask me if I gained weight over the break. Last time they saw me, I had facial hair.
I know for a fact that I gained exactly one pound from the beginning of December to the first week of January. So, I’m growing it back.
We went to Granny and Papaw Burkman’s on the 28th for a 55th anniversary party. (Burkman’s are Jane’s parents) It was a good time, yet bittersweet for me. Emma Rose, Jane’s great-niece, was there. She is a cute, 9 month old, blonde. Elizabeth and I were sitting on the floor holding her and loving on her. A pain hit me that hasn’t in a while. I horribly missed my Emma. So did Elizabeth. As Elizabeth sat there playing and smiling with precious Emma Rose, I held back tears. It made me hurt for Elizabeth as she has verbalized over the years, she misses her sister….. the one she never met. The one she got to feel kick her in utero. The one she knew was a girl because God told her so.
I asked her tonight, “Did playing with Emma Rose make you miss Emma Mae?” Her response….. “Yes, why? Are you and Daddy going to adopt a girl?” I can only pray God will someday bless Elizabeth with a daughter of her own.
There is a large military training center near Columbus called Camp Atterbury. One of the chaplains on the base goes to our church and for the past 4 years he has organized a night of caroling on the base. This year, people in the church baked over 6000 cookies to hand out while caroling. (Karen baked several dozen.)
It was a moving experience. Most of the soldiers there are preparing to go to Iraq. In fact, some have shipped out since we were there on Wednesday night. I have never seen a more appreciative group than the 10 or so groups of soldiers we sang to. Many were crying and were sure to tell us thank you and that it meant a lot to them.
We carried several large boxes of cookies around to different barracks, the soldiers would come out, we would sing and the kids would hand out cookies to them. Elijah, our youngest (almost 3,) was a huge hit with the soldiers.
He would grab as many bags of cookies he could carry and go running up to the line of soldiers yelling, “here soldier!” They were eating it up. Several of them were sure to come find him to thank him after we were done singing. There was one place that had this small ditch with a little bit of ice an water. Elijah went up to it, stopped for a second like he was going to jump… then he did. Several of the soldiers, in unison, said, “Airborne!” “He’ll be in the 101st.”
It was a great experience, much more than I expected. And I was surprised at the sincere and heartfelt appreciation we got from the troops. Please pray for these soldiers as they make their way to Iraq.
Yesterday at church, Karen and I were helping in “kids church.” Towards the end, the kids were split up into small groups for discussion. After it was over, a little girl named Shelby from Karen’s group came over to me and asked, “Are you Mr. Riley?”
“Yeah,” I said. She just looked up at me and smiled with her big blue eyes and gave me a hug then went on her way.
Karen asked me if I met Shelby. I said I did and that she came up and gave me a hug. Karen said that Shelby was telling her that her parents have been (in a whisper) fighting and that they have to go to see a judge and might get divorced. Karen told her that my parents got divorced when I was little.
Shelby knows the pain that she is feeling and in the midst of it, felt compassion for someone else that had gone through the same thing. I don’t get very emotional about much but that simple act of love and compassion really touched me. I pray that Shelby’s mom
and dad can work things out.
We have a family tradition that was started about 30 years ago when my dad was a single parent.
There was a greasy burger joint downtown when I was a kid called Lucas Brothers. One Thanksgiving Eve my dad decided to take my brother and I there for dinner. When we were leaving, we said we should do it every Thanksgiving Eve. We did for a few years and then kind of forgot about it.
About 10 years ago we decided to start it back up but Lucas Brothers had moved and they were no longer open on Thanksgiving Eve night so we decided to do the next best thing and headed to White Castle. We don’t make it every year but do our best to maintain the tradition.
I remember my dad coming home from the store one night when I was about eight with a new cassette tape, popping it in the Hi-Fi and telling me and my brother that we had to hear what he had just bought. It was “Best Of… The Lovin’ Spoonful.” I was hooked right away. It was one of the many tapes we listened to while in the car. Its part of the soundtrack of my childhood.
I later became a die-hard Beatle fan but I think the foundation of that appreciation was built on that collection of Lovin’ Spoonful songs.
John Sebastion was the brains behind the band. Primary song writer and singer. I’ve gone back and listen to their music lately and have come to the conclusion that he is a much under appreciated song writer. I saw an interview with him saying that he didn’t want to try and be a second rate Bob Dylan so he went the other direction, stayed away from politics and social movements. He wanted to write “feel-good” music. And I think he did. I’ve found several videos and songs on Youtube, I’ll share a few over the next few days.
Here is his Woodstock performance:
He shakes his head as he walks off stage. I think its because he only sings half the chorus the first time through.
My dad brought a digital video camera to Luke’s game today and got some much better video than before.
The first is a touchdown Luke scored off of a reverse. His coach practiced this play with the kids in practice all last week and milked it in the game. They ran it about 4 or 5 times with different kids running the ball. Here is Luke’s shot at it:
Here is another touchdown run. He’s got a talent for seeing the field as he runs, cutting and improvising.
One other thing about my visit to the BMV…
I’ve worn glasses or contacts since 9th grade. My vision has never been terrible, I can see without my glasses. I just needed them to see the chalkboard in class, watch TV from a distance, read street signs at night, etc.
Back in December, one of my contacts ripped and one of the nose pads on my glasses broke so I just stopped wearing either. My intent was to go to the eye doctor but I never got around to it. After a month or two, I noticed that I didn’t have to squint to read things on the TV and I could read street signs while driving at night.
When I went to take the vision test, I realized I didn’t have my glasses with me and thought for sure I was going to fail it. I told the lady I would try it anyway. I passed.
I had not passed the vision test since I first got my license. I couldn’t believe it. It was verifiable proof that my vision has improved over the past 9 months by not wearing my glasses or contacts.
Weird.
I went to the BMV at lunch today to finally get my Indiana drivers license. Apparently, when you have an out-of state license, you have to take a written test. Everything was fine until I got to question number 10.
Question 10 made me ashamed to be a Hoosier. The grammar was atrocious and the wording was terrible. I didn’t answer the question and made a note to bring it to the grader’s attention.
The question went like this:
“If a person is under 21 when their license expires and he or she applies for a new license, you must do the following:”
I don’t remember the options but the obvious answer was not listed. The correct answer to the question is “Nothing.” I am required to do nothing if someone under 21 has an expired license and applies for a new one. I may offer advice to someone in that situation but that is optional at best, certainly not required. Why is it any of my business or concern?
I took the test up to the lady to grade it and told her I did not answer question 10 because it did not have the correct answer. She said, “oh yes, the correct answer is there.” I said, “no its not.” I had to explain to her that I was not required to do anything if a person’s license expires and they are under 21. She didn’t quite get. The lady next to her did, I think. She said, “it means you are the person getting the license.” I said, “but that’s not what it says.” She informed me that I didn’t have to answer it and get it marked wrong and then handed me a phone number to call and complain.
I gave in and went ahead and answered it. I had to guess since I failed to brush up on Indiana laws and regulations regarding people under 21 getting licenses since I’m 35 years old.
I passed the test but missed question 10. Had that caused me to fail, I would probably still be there on the phone with some uneducated bureaucrat in downtown Indy.
We signed Luke up for PAL Flag Football this year. And, he’s a natural.
I hate to be one of “those dad’s” but this kid has natural athletic ability, something I never had.
He is, by far, the fastest kid on the team and probably the league.
It is a non competitive league designed to teach the kids the basics of football and the coach does a great job doing that as well as spreading the playing time around and making sure each kid gets the opportunity to run or catch the ball. Although, at this level, there isn’t too much passing.
He plays half the team on offense for one half of the game and then they switch to defense and vice versa.
Luke has played two games and carried the ball about 7 times and scored 4 TDs. On the defensive side, he stops almost every play.
Here are a couple of plays my dad caught on his digital camera. They are a little shaky, so don’t get sick:
This is a small article I wrote for our women’s ministry newsletter at church for the fall.
I enjoy this time of year. Two of my four kiddos just started back to school (and one more starting pre-k in a couple of weeks). That is only part of the excitement. For me, this time of the year means organization and a fresh start!
I tend to purge things that have been accumulating all year. Have you ever sat down at your desk and “sorted” through what is piled there? It is so freeing to throw things out. Due to my lacking summer organizing I found outdated coupons and receipts for that matter. There were also worksheets leftover from summer school. Ah, into the trash bag they went!
Another thing I enjoy is walking through the back to school isles. Not for reasons you may think. When I was little I LOVED school. I loved the new clothes shopping , new shoes, but most of all, the new school supplies. There is something about a fresh clean spiral notebook and a brand new pen that just gives me a tingle of pure joy!! That reminds me of a line from You’ve Got Mail starring Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan. He says he would send her a “bouquet of freshly sharpened pencils” if he could. He is talking about the fall season and how it makes him feel. I find myself repeating that line during this time of year. Hey, for a weirdo like me, that is real romance! When stocking up for school supplies I actually buy myself a new pen and notebook. I can’t resist. What do I do with my new stuff? Hey, I am glad you asked.
I use the “fall” season and my new supplies to begin something new. In the past I have journaled or written letters. This year, my notebook is house to items and notes from my geneology. My pen? I will be using for a new Bible study.
Another reason I look forward to this time of year….it is like a clean slate for my spiritual life. Most people use January 1 as a time for resolutions for a new year. I use August to map out what I want to accomplish in my spiritual life. I was excited to see the excerpt in the bulletin for this fall’s Bible study. Since my move back to Indiana from Arkansas in December, I have been in a “spiritual slump. ” I have heard others call it a rut. Whatever it is called …I am ready to climb out! I am ready to apply what I learn in my walk and serve others! I am thankful God gives us new seasons to learn about him. I am thankful for fresh starts because right now….I have a lot of learning to do. Hey, that is an excuse to get another notebook!
Who knew?! I spent the majority of last week, in about 98 degree weather and equal humidity in the garage, stripping a dresser. It was given to us last spring and was a dingy white color. My front living room needed some extra storage and I did not want to just throw the white dresser in there. I stripped it and then stained it black. That was one of the ugliest things I have ever seen. Then, aha, I decided to prime( Mike’s suggestion) and paint. It is called “tea kettle black.” It is a flat paint so the dust has been collecting too easily. However, it looks nice in there.
It wasn’t without trial and error, though. I had never done this before. After the staining disaster Mike suggested I prime. Okay, no big deal. I go to Lowe’s and get my primer and paint….. Did you know you are supposed to have primer stirred? I didn’t. I opened the can, began painting, basically a layer of oil, onto the dresser. I was curious as to why a white primer was green looking and not white in the can or on the wood. I stuck a stir stick in and discovered why………………………… Mike took the can back to Lowe’s for them to thoroughly shake. Much better…..Once dry….apply black paint. Much easier said than done. Ever tried to paint black over white primer…Want a hint? Use black tinted primer!!! After about 2 1/2 coats of black paint the dresser was done.
This is so much fun we have 2 end tables and a coffee table to do this week! Oh, I also painted a quilt rack black.
Back in April, my brother was sent to prison. If you remember, I posted about it here.
He got out July 5th at 12:01 am. My dad and I drove down right after fireworks on the 4th to get him. Its a 2 hour drive and they were an hour behind us so we didn’t get back home until around 3:30 am on the 5th. He was in for a short time but has a bunch of stories. Some funny, some not so funny.
He was in a level 2 facility which is almost like a dorm setting but with guards, razor wire and murderers as bunkmates.
He said there is a large number of members of the Aryan Nation there. Most are very large and very scary dudes. He said they leave him alone since he’s a white guy who shaves his head and has an Irish last name.
Anyway, he said their favorite pastime is playing Dungeons & Dragons. These huge, musclebound white supremacists sitting around a table playing D&D. Only they are not allowed to have dice so they use spinners instead. They sell the books in the commissary and guys have people on the outside zerox books and send them by mail a little at a time.
He was watching them play one day and a dude almost got in a fight with the dungeon master because his dwarf almost died.
There’s another group (non-Aryan Nation people) in his dorm that play. The dungeon master there is a gay guy who’s in for murdering his boyfriend after catching him with another man. He was sitting out on the porch one day and heard them playing. They came across a creature and attacked it. After they killed it, the dungeon master said, “Aw, you killed a baby dragon” in a very gay sounding voice. He said that was a running joke between him and one of his friends.
He was telling us how everything in prison has a value. A scoop of instant coffee, ramen noodles, ketchup packets, cigarettes, they are all traded and have a price. Two scoops of instant coffee = 41 cents, one “rollie” cigarette = $2.00 (3 rollies can be made from one standard cigarette.) His theory is if prisoners are willing to pay $6 for a regular cigarette, tobacco companies could charge whatever they wanted for a pack.
So anyway, he was telling us how they get the tobacco into the prison since its illegal to have it there. They have crews that work on the grounds outside the prison. Those guys have friends and family hide tobacco (and other drugs I assume) in the area where they work. Then, guys in the work crew smuggle them in… in their rectal cavities. The tobacco was compacted and put in cans about the size of a small tomato paste can.
He said one guy was the main “mule” for getting it in because of his carrying capacity.
They called him “Two Can Sam.”
He also shared some pretty gruesome stories about the violence and brutality he witnessed there. Its not some place I would ever want to be and I hope he never has to go back.
I wanted to say more about what happened to me on Monday but that post was getting too long…
I like being in control. Whenever I drink alcohol, I do so slowly because I don’t like the buzz. Call me crazy but it makes me feel like I’m starting to loose control and I can’t stand that feeling. I don’t think I would like being drunk or getting high from any kind of drug. Even when I’ve taken pain medication, I can’t stand it.
What scared me so much on Monday was I had no control over what was happening to me. My heart was doing crazy things and I couldn’t do a thing about it. All I could do was pray.
I’m sure there is a lesson here for me to learn, I’m just not sure I want to learn it.
Its been a while since we’ve written on a regular basis. I think we’ll be getting back to that soon.
As some of you know from Karen’s mass email. Monday evening was crazy.
We dropped our kids off at VBS at my parent’s church. I started to feel “spacey,” as I walked to the kitchen area to get a drink of water, I began to feel light headed and a little dizzy. I asked for a drink of water and felt like I really needed to sit down or I was going to pass out. I sat down and drank some water and put a cold washcloth on my neck.
Over the course of the next 45 minutes or so, my heart rate would jump up to over 100 and my blood pressure would sky rocket then come back down after a few minutes. Then it would start all over again. One of the guys working at the VBS was a medic in the National Guard and had just gotten back from a 14 month stint in Iraq and Afghanistan. He kept an eye on me, then we decided I should go to the hospital. Karen was going to take me to the hospital in our van but as we were getting ready to leave, it started again. I got scared and the medic guy suggested we call an ambulance. (In hindsight, I really wish Karen had driven me herself. I am not looking forward to the bill.)
On the ride to the hospital, I had a couple more instances of high heart rate and blood pressure but by the time I got to the hospital, it was pretty much over. They took some blood and gave me an EKG. All looked normal. I was in and out of the hospital in less than an hour and we were back to the church in time to pick up the kids. I haven’t had any further problems since.
The ER doctor concluded that it might have been stress induced although I did not feel any stress at the time. But, our overall situation is stressful. Two mortgages, a foundation problem with the house we are trying to sell in Little Rock, etc.
I went to the doctor yesterday. He took some more blood for tests and ran another EKG. The EKG was normal, although he said there were a few things on it that may be indicators of something. Still haven’t heard anything back on the blood work.
The doctor said I should be on the lookout for any reoccurrences and if there are, he will get me in for some sort of hear test. It was a real long technical sounding name, can’t remember what it was but he said it maps out the “electrical circuitry” of the heart.
He said that I could have sinus tachycardia which isn’t serious or Wolff-Parkinson-White syndrome which is a little more serious and could require surgery.
Anyway, all is good right now so I’m thankful for that. Now I’m just stressing over the bill for Monday’s events. 
Ten years ago, while pregnant with Elizabeth, Mike and I traveled to California. My dad and Cindy were there as was my brother, sister-in-law and my nephew. The purpose of our trip was to surprise my Grandma for her 80th birthday. Boy, was she ever surprised…. We all agreed that if Grandma lived to 90 we would repeat the trip.
A lot has changed in 10 years: Grandma now lives in Nevada, my dad died, Duane has another child, I have given birth 5 times, moved 4 times…………………………….and now, thanks to a house in Little Rock that won’t sell, have no “extra” funds to make that trip.
July 4th is Independence Day…..It is also my grandma’s 90th birthday. Grandma, if you are reading this:
I MISS YOU! HAPPY 90th BIRTHDAY! I LOVE YOU!!!!
Love, love, love, love, the Gospel in one word is love. Love your neighbor as yourself….love, love, love. Those are lyrics from a song that we sing at The Walk to Emmaus gatherings. I have been thinking a lot about love recently. What does it mean, do I truly love those I am around and think about? The Bible has much to say on the topic. It is mentioned in at least 600 verses throughout the Word. That’s a whole lotta love to share! John 15 9″As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father’s commands and remain in his love. 11I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. 12My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.
If it is important enough to be in the Bible so many times shouldn’t we be a little less selfish with our love? Shouldn’t we freely tell those around us we love them?
Next time I see you and I tell you I love you, don’t take it as me being fresh, I am just trying to share God’s love and His joy!
As some of you know, one of my brother’s (the next oldest to me) has had some trouble with the law. He had some drug addiction problems and stole some prescription drugs from the hospital a few years ago. He continued to battle addiction through his legal battles, did some time in jail and did house arrest last year. He’s been doing well, staying off drugs (I’ve seen him on them enough to know when he’s on and when he’s off.)
He had some fines to pay as well but has not had the income to get them paid off in time.
Last week, a judge sentenced him to 6 more months in prison. He will have to serve 3. Seems strange to me since he has been paying on the fines and has stayed out of trouble but the law is the law.
He is in the local county jail for now. I went to visit him last night. That was the first time I’ve set foot in a jail. It was just like in the movies, he was behind glass and there was a telephone to talk to the “other side.”
There were 6 or 7 visitation stalls. Down at the end, a lady was visiting with a guy that looked somewhat familiar. While my brother was talking to my mom, he wrote on a piece of paper that the guy was Bobby Bassett. He murdered a woman and three kids a few years ago, buried them in a wooded area by a creek.
In the stall next to us, there was a lady talking to an older guy. That guy looked familiar to me as well. I thought I had seen his picture in the paper not long ago for child molestation. When I got to talk to my brother, he whispered in the phone that the guy next to him was in for child molestation. I was right, I did see the guy in the paper.
I stood there, as my mom was talking to my brother, thinking about the terrible crimes these guys standing a few feet from me had committed. Unspeakable crimes. How could these women still care enough about them to take the time to visit them in jail? They didn’t deserve any love at all. What kind of women were they that they could over look what these guys had done and still tell them that they loved them?
Then the obvious hit me. We are all criminals in God’s eyes. We have all broken his law and are all undeserving of love from anyone, let alone God’s love. But he gives it to us anyway. He extends grace and mercy.
Just like the ladies visiting the criminals at the local county jail. They were painting a picture of grace for me and they didn’t know it.
I don’t know the circumstances of their relationships but I know that they cared enough about these “undesirables” to visit them.
Those guys deserve to be where they are and I’m glad they are behind bars where they cannot do any more damage to society. But they have also had all hope removed from their lives. Maybe the grace and mercy extended by those that still love them will give them hope and desire to change…
In my despair of no sunshine….(It is April and it was snowing yesterday!!!!!!!!) I decided to try some of that lotion that brings out “your natural glow” with a “touch” of tanner. To my delight, after one application, my fair-toned skin did look darker….
Wait a minute….do I look tanned or jaundiced????!!!!!!!!
In an attempt to believe in the product that I bought I have faithfully applied some everyday for about four days. Sure, I can tell a difference in the color of my skin. I look jaundiced in places I was hoping to be tan. Also, it is like the reverse of how I get sun…you know, like in the summer when you get a real tan and your feet are white from wearing socks but the legs are tan. My feet are ‘tanned’ and my legs are white. Oh well, maybe I will just wear long pants all summer.
If you didn’t read my previous post, we are back in Little Rock and staying in our empty house. But, we did leave behind a TV and rabbit ears so we can watch TV if we want.
This morning I was walking through our family room and I over heard Luke say to himself, “yes! It got through!” He was watching the weather on the local news. I asked him what got through. He said, “its going to be warm and sunny on Wednesday. I prayed and asked God to make it sunny on Wednesday.”
Luke has always seemed to have a strong faith for an almost 7 year old little boy. He can be our biggest trouble maker but he comes out with some pretty profound comments.
We’ve been back in Little Rock since Saturday evening. The kids are on Spring Break so we decided to visit our “Summer home.”
We’ve been staying in our empty house, doing some painting and minor repairs and visiting friends. Its been really strange being back, it feels different, not like home.
Anyway, we hope the new paint and repairs helps our house sell soon. We are not sure how much longer our renting situation back in Indiana is going to last. We need this house to sell soon.
Ever thought about something and it kind of made you mad and then the more you dwell on it, it becomes humorous?
We had our first auto insurance claim (Hopefully last!!)on the Odyssey. Mike drove around the corner to pick up a couch that was for the taking. He gets back to our house and is backing into the driveway. OK, no big deal. He wants to back in so it will be easier to get the couch out and into the garage. I am inside talking to one of the kiddos and I hear a weird sound. I go outside and asked what that sound was. I looked down after he says, “guess what I did?” There is shattered glass everywhere. I didn’t say one word. IGood thing we don’t always say what we think GUESS WHAT??!! YOU CAN’T BACK THE VAN INTO THE GARAGE WHEN THE REAR DOOR IS UP!!!!! (lol)
In Mike’s defense, I can honestly say that the dings on Mike’s car are mostly from me. I backed into a tree. (Our 18th Street driveway was not normal) The Plymouth van had a dent in the top where I backed out of the garage and the garage door wasn’t all the way up yet. I could tell you some stories about the 1974 Olds Delta 88 (aka Boat) I used to drive……..maybe another time.
Anyway, I am surveying what’s left of the window. Mike looks at me and says, “I’m glad I did this because I would be yelling at you if you had done it.” I am not even going to discuss this further……
Window replacement guy comes yesterday and I am telling him what happened for insurance purposes. He smiles real big and says, “I wish I had a dollar for everytime I have replaced a window like this because it was the HUSBAND’S fault.”
AAAHHH!!!
I heard an interesting question posed on the radio this morning.
Would you rather have 13 kids or 0 kids?
While 13 kids would be a logistical and financial nightmare, the thought of having no kids is even worse for me. I would have to go with 13.
Plus, if you raise them right, the older ones would be able to take care of the younger ones. And, in my old age I’m sure at least one of them would be willing to take care of me.
I was thinking that the best option would be moving to the country and living off the land. Deer meat, home grown veggies, a milk cow. It could be pretty cool.
Hmm…
The kids started at a new school here in Indiana on Tuesday. They seem to be adjusting well and are making new friends quickly.
They go to arguably the best public grade school in Columbus and left the best public grade school in Little Rock. Luke had been held back in Kindergarten in Little Rock because he was behind in a few areas. It is all-day there. Here Kindergarten is half-day and it is voluntary. It turns out that the Kindergarten work in Little Rock is equivalent to First Grade work here so we move Luke up into First.
Elizabeth is pretty much on track in Second grade and already knows a few of the kids in her class from before we moved to Little Rock.
We live a block from the school so the kids can ride their bikes or walk which is so much more convenient than taking the bus or driving them. Plus the school has one of the coolest playgrounds I’ve ever seen. It will be a great place to take the kids to play in the Summer. I’ll have to post a picture tomorrow.
Since I’ve been out of the blogging loop for a while I have a backlog of stories I wanted to share. This one comes from about 3 weeks ago. I was in Little Rock, we had just sent all of our stuff off to Indiana in a trailer and we were hanging around waiting for the kids to finish school. Since we didn’t have any furniture, I went to the SanFransico Bread Co. to get some work done (they have free Wi-Fi, allowing me to connect to my office via VPN.)
I was sitting at a table getting some work done when this 45+ year old lady walked by, stopped and looked at me for a few seconds uncomfortably close. She said something to the effect of:
“I’m an artist and I study faces. You have a nice face. I bet your wife really likes your face, do you have a wife?”
“Uh… … … yeah,” I said.
“Oh. Is she the right one?”
“I hope so. We have 4 kids together.” I think my sarcasm was lost on her for a moment.
“You hope so? Shouldn’t you know so? … Oh, you were being facetious.”
I can’t recall everything she said after that but it was something about making sure I take care of my kids.
Now, even though I was being hit on by a very odd middle aged woman, it was nice to get a compliment… I guess.
So, we spent the Saturday before Christmas unloading our moving trailer and unpacking. Actaully, we are still unpacking and will be unpacking until sometime after Elizabeth finishes grad school.
Since our home was still in boxes on Christmas, we spent the night at my parents and spent Christmas day there.
My little brother bought a Nintendo Wii. Man! That thing is a blast. Here is Luke playing Wii Bowling:
The G Sides had an interesting post on decision making this morning. I started to write a comment on it, once I got to paragraph 3 I decided it should be a post on my own blog.
Grant was talking about a couple of people that have come to him this week for advice on making tough decisions. I did the same thing when we were deciding on whether to stay on staff with FamilyLife or not. He didn’t give me any answers but what he did do is ask me a few key questions to help me formulate my thoughts and help equip myself to make a good decision
I also started reading a book by Gary Friesen called Decision Making and the Will of God: A Biblical Alternative to the Traditional View. I cannot recommend this book enough. Go get it.
Back to our hard decision…
We are not yet on the “other side” of it. I am living with my parents, Karen and the kids are 600 miles away. Karen is about ready to pull her hair out, its already going gray, waiting for our house to sell. (anyone looking for a 5 bedroom 2300 square foot house in Pleasant Forest?)
But, we can see the light at the end of the tunnel, something I couldn’t see on the other side of the decision. All I saw was a very large, very thick brick wall. After we commited to our decision, its like that wall just crumbled in front of us. I got a good paying, fun job in less than a week with no interview. That was like the weight of the world being lifted off my shoulders.
Another thing we wanted to do in this decision is continue to seek places where we can be used by God to further his kingdom. The place where I work is about 70% Chinese, 15% Indian and 15% white American. I am working in a mission field. There is a chinese woman who leads a Bible study with a handfull of other Chinese Christians here. I want to work with those guys to help reach out to our co-workers. And I am in the process of laying a foundation with one of the younger guys here, his name is Hao. I invite him to play basketball with me at lunch and had him over for dinner last night, then we played Starcraft for a couple of hours with my younger brother. I don’t know where he stands spiritually, but I am in the middle of earning the right to talk to him about it.
We have also visted another church here. We decided when we move back that we are going to visit several churches and plug in where we can best be used. That may be the church we left when we moved to Little Rock but it may not be. Anyway, this church we visited is big on the members serving the body of Christ. The first sermon I heard there was about just that, about serving in the church using your talents and abilities. It struck a chord with me.
So, like I said, we are still in the middle of this decision but we see God at work in the midst of it and we take comfort in that.
Elizabeth was on cloud nine yesterday. On the way back to Little Rock from Columbus, we stopped in Tennessee. One of Elizabeth’s very favorite movies is Coal Miner’s Daughter. It is the rags to riches story about Loretta Lynn’s life as portrayed by Sissy Spacek. She just loves that movie (and Mr. Holland’s Opus). Whatever town it is, we went stopped by the Loretta Lynn Dude Ranch. It is quite a spread. Elizabeth was just ecstatic. I told them they could each get a little something in one of the four gift shops. Elizabeth’s newest prized possession (that went to school in her backpack today)? It is an 8×10 autographed photo of Loretta Lynn.
Times like now I question my sanity. The kids and I left Little Rock at 4:30 p.m. on Wednesday afternoon. After a 45 minute traffic delay in West Memphis and an hour stop for supper in Jackson, TN we arrived in Columbus at 3:30 a.m. I had been up for 22 hours, handed the kids over to Mike and went straight to bed. I woke up around 9:30 or so. I have been fortunate enough to have naps everyday.
We looked at houses all morning, yesterday. I found one I really like. Mike found 2 he really likes. Think they are the same? NO!! I have to admit, one of the 2 Mike likes is really cool. The problem……It sits on N. Wood Lake, yes, a lake. 4 kids, under 10 and not allowed to have fences up…….MOMS, need I say more? The back side of the house has 2 decks, up and down, kids leaning over, falling off and going splat. Anyway, cool house, wrong timing.
The one I like is in town but on a quiet street. Has a huge front yard and a long driveway. No associations or anything so we could put a fence up if we wanted. It has a pool and hot tub in the backyard. We would have to put up another fence that locks directly around the pool. It is a very traditional 2 story house, functional and we can be there, long term. It has 4 bedrooms, 2 1/2 baths, laundry room, hardwood floors in the living, dining, and a bedroom. (Pretty sure it is throughout and just covered by carpet.) Family room has a fireplace, there is a full unfinished basement. It is a great house to host a small group and entertain. Ideal for some kind of ministry outreach. It is one block south of Parkside Elementary and the community soccer fields, park, and People Trails. It is also within reasonable bike riding distance of Grandpa and Grandma’s new house.
Someone please buy our Little Rock house!!! Pray for our home to sell!
He did it! He pulled it off without telling me. Mike arrived around 3:00 on Friday afternoon. After a big hug and kiss he handed me a “key” to a hotel room. He had arranged childcare with 2 families to keep the kiddos. He told me to go to the hotel and he would meet me there later. He took care of packing up the kids and dropping them off. I had a couple of hours to myself in TOTAL SILENCE. It was AWESOME!! We had two nights at the Embassy Suites-Little Rock.
When I first arrived I wasn’t sure what to do. I sat down and read the downtown Little Rock guide, did some journaling and then….took an hour nap! It was great…a fluffy bed, fluffy pillows.
When Mike arrived we walked across the street to Kobe. It is a Japanese steak and sushi place. As a birthday treat, we had our picture taken by the Kobe staff and I was sang to in Japanese. It was fun! I kind of felt like a kid again.
We enjoyed swimming in the pool and soaking in the hot tub. The silence in our room that evening was nice. No one to tuck in, no one’s teeth to brush but my own….. We enjoyed the breakfast buffet on Saturday morning.
We picked up the kids, let the dog out, and then went back to the hotel to swim. The kids were thrilled!!! Later we went to the Big Dam Bridge. Yes, that is the real name of it. It is the world’s (largest and/or longest) pedestrian/bike bridge. We got some great pictures. We also got to watch a boat go through the lock at the dam. The kids really enjoyed that! We then ordered pizza and went back to the hotel. The kids had an absolute blast swimming and hot-tubbing.
Mike, you outdid yourself. Thank you for an awesome birthday. I miss you and I can’t wait to see you later this week. I love you.
Elijah. I miss our “I… love… YOU!” game. I miss how he actually prefers me over Mommy (our only kid that does.) I miss his hugs and kisses.
Isaiah. I miss how he “jokes me.” I miss how he acts goofy on purpose. I miss how he mispronounces words.
Luke. I miss his energy. I miss his curiosity and how he asks insightful question, the kind that let you know he’s really thinking about stuff. I miss his drums. I miss him wanting me to play with him.
Elizabeth. I miss her hugs. I miss reading to her and her reading to me. I miss helping her with her homework. I miss riding bikes with her. I miss how she can sometimes say the sweetest things out of the blue.
Karen. I miss everything about her. I miss her hug and kiss when I get home. I miss helping her around the house. I miss having her in bed next to me. I miss how she does that one thing when we are… well, never mind. I’ll keep that one to myself.
Someone hurry up and buy our house. Please!
I was so overcome this week by the expression of God’s love as deomonstrated through some precious people. I sent out an email on Monday or Tuesday asking for help when I realized there was no way I could finish getting the house ready to sale. Tuesday Debbie and her two daughters came over to help with laundry. That was like a lead weight being lifted off my shoulders. After Bible study on Wednesday Sue came over and helped me clean…..even things I didn’t think of cleaning…..I just love Sue, she has been like a mentor to me. Also on Wednesday Susanne came over to help…….her request was to clean my bathrooms…..WHAT?! gasp gasp…..you want to what???!!! I pray God blesses her in a special way…..we have 3 bathrooms….3 FULL bathrooms, two of which males regularly use. The downstairs and two of the bathrooms are now off limits, in an effort to keep the house clean. Mike O and Doug came over to do lawn work…They went above and beyond what I needed help with. ( I guess I didn’t realize how much needed to be done!) Mike O was Mike’s accountability partner. They have similar personalities and sense of humor. He organized the garage, too!
Tammy picked up the kids numerous times for me last week to take them to school. Very helpful as I was in the midst of a raging bladder infection and dehydration. Thursday night my back went into a muscle spasm so bad that my legs buckled and I fell to the floor. Holly brought us supper one evening.
Now all we need is for someone to buy the house. The pictures online are great.
I am thankful for each and everyone of the people who have helped and/or offered words of encouragement. I couldn’t do this without their help. Thank you, LORD!!
It is official, the house is for sale and there were 3 showings on the first Saturday it was listed. Please pray it sells quickly. Today is the 7th day of single parenting. I stand in amazement when I think of how single parents do it. I am to the point I just try to laugh when the kids do something irritating. I am looking forward to a small break tomorrow evening as a babysitter will be coming over for a while. Tonight we go to Target to buy a boardgame. (I am looking forward to shopping at the Columbus Target. It opened shortly before we moved….it is bigger and better than the one here in LR) We end up in the accessory department with all of us trying on hats, scarves and mittens. Isaiah was a hoot. I wish I had had my camera with me for that……speaking of which, I am not sure where it is at the moment. All the while, I believe, we left a trail a popcorn throughout the store. We all miss “daddy” and can’t wait to be with him. Next time you meet a single parent give them a word of encouragement.
The kids and I were looking through videos on YouTube this evening. They got real excited about all the fan made lightsaber duels and wanted to make their own so I got out the digital camera and recorded this:
Next, they want me to figure out how to add the special effects…
Luke cracks me up sometimes. I am thankful for those times because his sweetness can often be overshadowed by his irritability that stems from his ADHD. We are sitting here watching Shrek and out of the blue he jumps up and starts this funny dance in which he bobbs his head front and back like a chicken. He also does this slinky thing with his body. It is pretty funny. That’s my Bober Head. That is my nickname for him….Actually, he probably has the most nicknames: Chobers, Chobie Bobie, Bubby, Bubbers. It was Bobo until we got a dog already named that.
He is also the most sharing out of our kiddos. If we ask the kids to share he is almost always the first one to do so. He has a sweet, kind heart. It will be fun to see how he turns out when he is older. He loves to snuggle too. Many mornings I wake up to the little freckled face sweetie snuggled up next to me.
Lukie Dukie is ready to repeat kindergarten this year with Mrs. Shelton. He is excited about getting to “show the ropes” to others in his class. Mrs. Shelton is excited too. She could already see a change in him from last year. We went last Sunday to the kindergarten ice cream social. I will miss the little guy when school starts. He is often my comedy relief throughout the day.
There is a list of things I need to do each day that I have been either poor or negligent in doing since we moved to Little Rock. I feel like I am moving backwards spiritually (ie my “Christian walk”) and it needs to stop.
Here are things I need to do every day:
If I do those things I can say I had a good day. But, as my dad says, “you got the easy part done, little man.”
It is 3:16 a.m. and I am wide awake. I am taking an antibiotic for a never ending sinus infection and one of the side effects is insomnia. Wonderful, I can sit and listen to the other side effects…..gastrointestinal. Since about 11pm there has been nonstop gurgling from my stomach. I hope the increase in yogurt helps with that!
I think I am allergic to Arkansas. Since moving here I have had more sinus allergy trouble than what I have had in years. In early June I developed an infection and was treated toward the end of the month (with antibiotics and a steroid shot). I don’t think it was quite cleared up because within 2 weeks all of the symptoms were back, but worse. Hopefully, this time it will get knocked out. I am tired now. I am so boring, I put myself to sleep.
ool news from Cummins. (press release here)
(For those of you that don’t know, in my former life I was an engineer at Cummins, Inc. I worked on the electronic controller (ECM) for the mid-range engines.)
They made a big announcement this week that they were partnering with an unnamed auto manufacturer to put a new, high performance diesel engine in SUVs and small pickup trucks. The press release claims that the diesel engine will get up to 30% better fuel economy than the same vehicle with a gas engine.
The problems with diesels in the past were noise and exhaust. They were loud and the exhaust was soot filled and smelly. The problems are all but gone with developments over the past ten years. I worked on the 2002 and 2003 midrange engines (same size that Dodge puts in their pickups) and on those Cummins introduced “pilot” fueling which makes them run almost as quiet as a gas engine. Plus, the EPA has ever-increasing emissions requirements that have helped the exhaust problems of the past. This approach, introducing diesel engines into the auto market, could end up being a more realistic approach to oil conservation than hybrids. Lower cost and less specialized equipment on the vehicle.
The last year or so I was at Cummins, we started hearing rumors of a new engine that had been kept top secret for several years (a big feat at Cummins, they don’t keep secrets very well.) The rumor was it was going to be a V6 engine designed to go in SUVs and the rumor at the time was they were trying to get Dodge to put it in the Durango. And, once they got a customer they would build the engine at the main Cummins plant in Columbus which has sat virtually empty for the past 6 years. The press release from Cummins said they can’t announce the auto manufacturer and they have not decided on a manufacturing location. But, I would not be surprised if they announce Chrysler as the customer and Columbus as the manufacturing location, they already own an empty, 2 billion square foot manufacturing facility there (well not that big but it does take up about 10 city blocks.)
The only reason I can think of for the customer not being Chrysler is that they have their own similar engine they developed a few years ago in Germany. I can’t wait to hear more about this. It can be huge news for my home town, all my friends that still work there and for my mutual fund
Someone once told me that bobo in Spanish is silly head. I would certainly agree!! Our dog, Bobo, already named when we got him, is definately bobo. He has a water bowl that sits next to his food dish in the kitchen. The bowl is always full of water. Yesterday he kept following me into my bedroom. Everytime I went in there, he was right behind me. When I went into the bathroom he got all excited and jumped into the bathtub. He does this whenever he wants a drink. He will stand there looking at me and at the faucet until I turn it on and he gets a drink from the stream of water. He is nuts. Instead of drinking out of his bowl or one of the other two toilets (he does quite frequently) he waited all day for me to go in there so he could get a drink from the shower. I found this particularly humorous since he was panting most of the day.
When I think about it, I guess it is not too strange…… for him. He takes great oral delight in poopy diapers. The first time I noticed this unusual practice, he was in mine and Mike’s room with both paws on the diaper. He was “possessive” of his newfound delicasy. I could hear the slopping sounds as he was licking out the very soft…………..If you think that is disgusting……once a month I have to set my bathroom trash can up on the counter out of his reach after once finding some surprises under my bed!! Ok, I am grossing myself out.
Despite his disgusting habits, he is a sweet lovable dog……He loves to be loved on and have his belly rubbed….I just don’t let him lick me.
Reading Karen’s post about Emma, I realized its been a while since I’ve thought about her and about that experience. I used to think about it several times a day but as we get further away from it, the easier it is to have days and weeks pass without thinking about it. I don’t know if I like that. I don’t want to forget that experience (I know that sounds weird but its true) and I don’t want to forget her.
It was surreal while we were going through it, almost like it really wasn’t happening to us, like I was observing it happen to someone else.
I remember holding her while she drew her last breath, I remember how tiny she was… how it seemed like she wasn’t in the blanket because she was so light. And I remember the most painful part. Coming home without her, that hurt but watching Elizabeth realize that she was not going to have a little sister at home with her was far worse. We got home and then had my parents bring her and Luke back home (Luke was just under 2 and doesn’t remember.) Elizabeth came running into the living room all excited to see her new sister. We had to tell her that Emma wouldn’t be coming home, that she was born too early and had died at the hospital. She didn’t believe us, ran to the bedroom, turned on the light and saw the empty crib. That’s when it hit her, her sister would not be coming home. She came running back to us, Karen embraced her. She cried, Karen cried, I cried…
I will never forget that scene.
Since we have moved to Arkansas we are continually asked how many children we have. (That is a common question, especially if people know we are on staff at FamilyLife. Four children around there is average) In the back of my mind I am always thinking five even though we only have four with us. On March 1, 2002 I went into preterm labor and delivered our third baby 16 weeks prematurely. Emma Mae was born at 24 weeks gestation weighing 1 pound and 10 1/2 ounces. She was 12 1/2 inches long. Emma was with us for 35 1/2 hours. She died from a pulmonary hemmorage (a major vessel in her lung “popped”).
From time to time the kids will ask about her and we explain (again) what happened. Elizabeth was the most impacted and still longs for a baby sister. I sometimes feel cheated when I look in the mirror and see all the stretch marks. I have been pregnant and given birth 5 times and have 4 to show for it. It is those times I recall the way God worked through our lives during that time and that His plan is perfect. There are times I still wonder what she would look like or how girlie would she be. She would have been 4 this year. Then I look at my family and thank God for each and everyone of them.
Here is a link to the page Mike made in 2002.
http://mikeriley.freeservers.com/emma/emma.html
In one of the pictures you can see a normal sized syringe. Also, my hand is next to her in one of them. It is really hard to grasp how tiny she was. The diaper is about the size of a panty liner. Her head was about the size of a large lemon. Her hands were so tiny that she could only grasp my pinky half way.
On her grave marker is the scripture: Psalm 18:32 It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect.
Today was a high maintenance day. Everytime the kiddos spend time with Grandpa and Grandma they are crabby when they return. Who would want to return to mom and dad? Especially when G&G take them to fun places, do exciting things and spend a lot of time together! From the time they got up until bedtime ( including getting up out of bed)……. I want Grandma, I miss Grandma, You don’t know what it is like to not see your grandparents everyday. Fine! Just take me back to Indiana so I can stop crying. Elizabeth is the worse. She whined all day. Isaiah was pretty whiny too. He and Luke fought and argued a lot as did Luke and Elizabeth. Whine whine………………..can I have a drink of wine to get me out of my misery? I don’t drink but it is pretty appealing right now.