We went to Granny and Papaw Burkman’s on the 28th for a 55th anniversary party. (Burkman’s are Jane’s parents) It was a good time, yet bittersweet for me. Emma Rose, Jane’s great-niece, was there. She is a cute, 9 month old, blonde. Elizabeth and I were sitting on the floor holding her and loving on her. A pain hit me that hasn’t in a while. I horribly missed my Emma. So did Elizabeth. As Elizabeth sat there playing and smiling with precious Emma Rose, I held back tears. It made me hurt for Elizabeth as she has verbalized over the years, she misses her sister….. the one she never met. The one she got to feel kick her in utero. The one she knew was a girl because God told her so.
I asked her tonight, “Did playing with Emma Rose make you miss Emma Mae?” Her response….. “Yes, why? Are you and Daddy going to adopt a girl?” I can only pray God will someday bless Elizabeth with a daughter of her own.

There is a large military training center near Columbus called Camp Atterbury. One of the chaplains on the base goes to our church and for the past 4 years he has organized a night of caroling on the base. This year, people in the church baked over 6000 cookies to hand out while caroling. (Karen baked several dozen.)

It was a moving experience. Most of the soldiers there are preparing to go to Iraq. In fact, some have shipped out since we were there on Wednesday night. I have never seen a more appreciative group than the 10 or so groups of soldiers we sang to. Many were crying and were sure to tell us thank you and that it meant a lot to them.

We carried several large boxes of cookies around to different barracks, the soldiers would come out, we would sing and the kids would hand out cookies to them. Elijah, our youngest (almost 3,) was a huge hit with the soldiers.

He would grab as many bags of cookies he could carry and go running up to the line of soldiers yelling, “here soldier!” They were eating it up. Several of them were sure to come find him to thank him after we were done singing. There was one place that had this small ditch with a little bit of ice an water. Elijah went up to it, stopped for a second like he was going to jump… then he did. Several of the soldiers, in unison, said, “Airborne!” “He’ll be in the 101st.”

It was a great experience, much more than I expected. And I was surprised at the sincere and heartfelt appreciation we got from the troops. Please pray for these soldiers as they make their way to Iraq.

My dad brought a digital video camera to Luke’s game today and got some much better video than before.

The first is a touchdown Luke scored off of a reverse. His coach practiced this play with the kids in practice all last week and milked it in the game. They ran it about 4 or 5 times with different kids running the ball. Here is Luke’s shot at it:

Here is another touchdown run. He’s got a talent for seeing the field as he runs, cutting and improvising.

We signed Luke up for PAL Flag Football this year. And, he’s a natural.
I hate to be one of “those dad’s” but this kid has natural athletic ability, something I never had.
He is, by far, the fastest kid on the team and probably the league.

It is a non competitive league designed to teach the kids the basics of football and the coach does a great job doing that as well as spreading the playing time around and making sure each kid gets the opportunity to run or catch the ball. Although, at this level, there isn’t too much passing.
He plays half the team on offense for one half of the game and then they switch to defense and vice versa.

Luke has played two games and carried the ball about 7 times and scored 4 TDs. On the defensive side, he stops almost every play.
Here are a couple of plays my dad caught on his digital camera. They are a little shaky, so don’t get sick:

If you didn’t read my previous post, we are back in Little Rock and staying in our empty house. But, we did leave behind a TV and rabbit ears so we can watch TV if we want.

This morning I was walking through our family room and I over heard Luke say to himself, “yes! It got through!” He was watching the weather on the local news. I asked him what got through. He said, “its going to be warm and sunny on Wednesday. I prayed and asked God to make it sunny on Wednesday.”

Luke has always seemed to have a strong faith for an almost 7 year old little boy. He can be our biggest trouble maker but he comes out with some pretty profound comments.

The kids started at a new school here in Indiana on Tuesday. They seem to be adjusting well and are making new friends quickly.

They go to arguably the best public grade school in Columbus and left the best public grade school in Little Rock. Luke had been held back in Kindergarten in Little Rock because he was behind in a few areas. It is all-day there. Here Kindergarten is half-day and it is voluntary. It turns out that the Kindergarten work in Little Rock is equivalent to First Grade work here so we move Luke up into First.

Elizabeth is pretty much on track in Second grade and already knows a few of the kids in her class from before we moved to Little Rock.

We live a block from the school so the kids can ride their bikes or walk which is so much more convenient than taking the bus or driving them. Plus the school has one of the coolest playgrounds I’ve ever seen. It will be a great place to take the kids to play in the Summer. I’ll have to post a picture tomorrow.

So, we spent the Saturday before Christmas unloading our moving trailer and unpacking. Actaully, we are still unpacking and will be unpacking until sometime after Elizabeth finishes grad school.

Since our home was still in boxes on Christmas, we spent the night at my parents and spent Christmas day there.

My little brother bought a Nintendo Wii. Man! That thing is a blast. Here is Luke playing Wii Bowling:

Elizabeth was on cloud nine yesterday.  On the way back to Little Rock from Columbus, we stopped in Tennessee.  One of Elizabeth’s very favorite movies is Coal Miner’s Daughter. It is the rags to riches story about Loretta Lynn’s life as portrayed by Sissy Spacek.  She just loves that movie (and Mr. Holland’s Opus). Whatever town it is, we went stopped by the Loretta Lynn Dude Ranch. It is quite a spread. Elizabeth was just ecstatic.  I told them they could each get a little something in one of the four gift shops. Elizabeth’s newest prized possession (that went to school in her backpack today)?  It is an 8×10 autographed photo of Loretta Lynn.

He did it! He pulled it off without telling me. Mike arrived around 3:00 on Friday afternoon.  After a big hug and kiss he handed me a “key” to a hotel room.  He had arranged childcare with 2 families to keep the kiddos. He told me to go to the hotel and he would meet me there later. He took care of packing up the kids and dropping them off. I had a couple of hours to myself in TOTAL SILENCE. It was AWESOME!! We had two nights at the Embassy Suites-Little Rock. 

When I first arrived I wasn’t sure what to do. I sat down and read the downtown Little Rock guide, did some journaling and then….took an hour nap! It was great…a fluffy bed, fluffy pillows. 

When Mike arrived we walked across the street to Kobe. It is a Japanese steak and sushi place.  As a birthday treat, we had our picture taken by the Kobe staff and I was sang to in Japanese.  It was fun! I kind of felt like a kid again.

We enjoyed swimming in the pool and soaking in the hot tub.  The silence in our room that evening was nice.  No one to tuck in, no one’s teeth to brush but my own….. We enjoyed the breakfast buffet on Saturday morning.

We picked up the kids, let the dog out, and then went back to the hotel to swim.  The kids were thrilled!!! Later we went to the Big Dam Bridge. Yes, that is the real name of it.  It is the world’s (largest and/or longest) pedestrian/bike bridge. We got some great pictures. We also got to watch a boat go through the lock at the dam. The kids really enjoyed that! We then ordered pizza and went back to the hotel. The kids had an absolute blast swimming and hot-tubbing. 

Mike, you outdid yourself. Thank you for an awesome birthday. I miss you and I can’t wait to see you later this week. I love you.  

Elijah. I miss our “I… love… YOU!” game. I miss how he actually prefers me over Mommy (our only kid that does.) I miss his hugs and kisses.

Isaiah. I miss how he “jokes me.” I miss how he acts goofy on purpose. I miss how he mispronounces words.

Luke. I miss his energy. I miss his curiosity and how he asks insightful question, the kind that let you know he’s really thinking about stuff. I miss his drums. I miss him wanting me to play with him.

Elizabeth. I miss her hugs. I miss reading to her and her reading to me. I miss helping her with her homework. I miss riding bikes with her. I miss how she can sometimes say the sweetest things out of the blue.

Karen. I miss everything about her. I miss her hug and kiss when I get home. I miss helping her around the house. I miss having her in bed next to me. I miss how she does that one thing when we are… well, never mind. I’ll keep that one to myself.

Someone hurry up and buy our house. Please!

I was so overcome this week by the expression of God’s love as deomonstrated through some precious people.  I sent out an email on Monday or Tuesday asking for help when I realized there was no way I could finish getting the house ready to sale.  Tuesday Debbie and her two daughters came over to help with laundry. That was like a lead weight being lifted off my shoulders.  After Bible study on Wednesday Sue came over and helped me clean…..even things I didn’t think of cleaning…..I just love Sue, she has been like a mentor to me.  Also on Wednesday Susanne came over to help…….her request was to clean my bathrooms…..WHAT?! gasp gasp…..you want to what???!!! I pray God blesses her in a special way…..we have 3 bathrooms….3 FULL bathrooms, two of which males regularly use. The downstairs and two of the bathrooms are now off limits, in an effort to keep the house clean.  Mike O and Doug came over to do lawn work…They went above and beyond what I needed help with. ( I guess I didn’t realize how much needed to be done!)  Mike O was Mike’s accountability partner. They have similar personalities and sense of humor.  He organized the garage, too!

Tammy picked up the kids numerous times for me last week to take them to school.  Very helpful as I was in the midst of a raging bladder infection and dehydration. Thursday night my back went into a muscle spasm so bad that my legs buckled and I fell  to the floor.  Holly brought us supper one evening. 

Now all we need is for someone to buy the house.  The pictures online are great. 

I am thankful for each and everyone of the people who have helped and/or offered words of encouragement.  I couldn’t do this without their help. Thank you, LORD!!

It is official, the house is for sale and there were 3 showings on the first Saturday it was listed.  Please pray it sells quickly.  Today is the 7th day of single parenting.  I stand in amazement when I think of how single parents do it.  I am to the point I just try to laugh when the kids do something irritating.  I am looking forward to a small break tomorrow evening as a babysitter will be coming over for a while.  Tonight we go to Target to buy a boardgame. (I am looking forward to shopping at the Columbus Target.  It opened shortly before we moved….it is bigger and better than the one here in LR)  We end up in the accessory department with all of us trying on hats, scarves and mittens.  Isaiah was a hoot. I wish I had had my camera with me for that……speaking of which, I am not sure where it is at the moment.  All the while, I believe, we left a trail a popcorn throughout the store.  We all miss “daddy” and can’t wait to be with him.  Next time you meet a single parent give them a word of encouragement. 

The kids and I were looking through videos on YouTube this evening. They got real excited about all the fan made lightsaber duels and wanted to make their own so I got out the digital camera and recorded this:

The Riley Lightsaber Duel

Next, they want me to figure out how to add the special effects…

Luke cracks me up sometimes. I am thankful for those times because his sweetness can often be overshadowed by his irritability that stems from his ADHD. We are sitting here watching Shrek and out of the blue he jumps up and starts this funny dance in which he bobbs his head front and back like a chicken. He also does this slinky thing with his body. It is pretty funny. That’s my Bober Head.  That is my nickname for him….Actually, he probably has the most nicknames: Chobers, Chobie Bobie, Bubby, Bubbers.  It was Bobo until we got a dog already named that.

He is also the most sharing out of our kiddos. If we ask the kids to share he is almost always the first one to do so. He has a sweet, kind heart. It will be fun to see how he turns out when he is older. He loves to snuggle too. Many mornings I wake up to the little freckled face sweetie snuggled up next to me.

Lukie Dukie is ready to repeat kindergarten this year with Mrs. Shelton. He is excited about getting to “show the ropes” to others in his class. Mrs. Shelton is excited too.  She could already see a change in him from last year.  We went last Sunday to the kindergarten ice cream social.  I will miss the little guy when school starts.  He is often my comedy relief throughout the day.

There is a list of things I need to do each day that I have been either poor or negligent in doing since we moved to Little Rock. I feel like I am moving backwards spiritually (ie my “Christian walk”) and it needs to stop.

Here are things I need to do every day:

• Spend at least 30 minutes reading the Bible and in prayer.
• Pray with my wife.
• Do a devotional with the kids.
• Spend at least 30 minutes playing with the kids.
• Pray for at least one family that supports us.
• Make at least 5 ministry related phone calls (calling supporters and potential supporters.)
• Give the laptop a rest.

If I do those things I can say I had a good day. But, as my dad says, “you got the easy part done, little man.”

Reading Karen’s post about Emma, I realized its been a while since I’ve thought about her and about that experience. I used to think about it several times a day but as we get further away from it, the easier it is to have days and weeks pass without thinking about it. I don’t know if I like that. I don’t want to forget that experience (I know that sounds weird but its true) and I don’t want to forget her.
It was surreal while we were going through it, almost like it really wasn’t happening to us, like I was observing it happen to someone else.

I remember holding her while she drew her last breath, I remember how tiny she was… how it seemed like she wasn’t in the blanket because she was so light. And I remember the most painful part. Coming home without her, that hurt but watching Elizabeth realize that she was not going to have a little sister at home with her was far worse. We got home and then had my parents bring her and Luke back home (Luke was just under 2 and doesn’t remember.) Elizabeth came running into the living room all excited to see her new sister. We had to tell her that Emma wouldn’t be coming home, that she was born too early and had died at the hospital. She didn’t believe us, ran to the bedroom, turned on the light and saw the empty crib. That’s when it hit her, her sister would not be coming home. She came  running back to us, Karen embraced her. She cried, Karen  cried, I cried…
I will never forget that scene.

Since we have moved to Arkansas we are continually asked how many children we have. (That is a common question, especially if people know we are on staff at FamilyLife. Four children around there is average) In the back of my mind I am always thinking five even though we only have four with us. On March 1, 2002 I went into preterm labor and delivered our third baby 16 weeks prematurely.  Emma Mae was born at 24 weeks gestation weighing 1 pound and 10 1/2 ounces. She was 12 1/2 inches long. Emma was with us for 35 1/2 hours. She died from a pulmonary hemmorage (a major vessel in her lung “popped”). 

From time to time the kids will ask about her and we explain (again) what happened.  Elizabeth was the most impacted and still longs for a baby sister.  I sometimes feel cheated when I look in the mirror and see all the stretch marks. I have been pregnant and given birth 5 times and have 4 to show for it. It is those times I recall the way God worked through our lives during that time and that His plan is perfect. There are times I still wonder what she would look like or how girlie would she be. She would have been 4 this year.  Then I look at my family and thank God for each and everyone of them.

Here is a link to the page Mike made in 2002.

http://mikeriley.freeservers.com/emma/emma.html

In one of the pictures you can see a normal sized syringe.  Also, my hand is next to her in one of them. It is really hard to grasp how tiny she was.  The diaper is about the size of a panty liner.  Her head was about the size of a large lemon. Her hands were so tiny that she could only grasp my pinky half way.

On her grave marker is the scripture: Psalm 18:32 It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect.

Today was a high maintenance day. Everytime the kiddos spend time with Grandpa and Grandma they are crabby when they return. Who would want to return to mom and dad?  Especially when G&G take them to fun places, do exciting things and spend a lot of time together! From the time they got up until bedtime ( including getting up out of bed)……. I want Grandma, I miss Grandma, You don’t know what it is like to not see your grandparents everyday. Fine! Just take me back to Indiana so I can stop crying.  Elizabeth is the worse. She whined all day. Isaiah was pretty whiny too. He and Luke fought and argued a lot as did Luke and Elizabeth. Whine whine………………..can I have a drink of wine to get me out of my misery?  I don’t drink but it is pretty appealing right now.

Kids have been home for less than 24 hours and we have already had a time-out, apple cider vinegar (mouthful for saying mean words), diarrhea, vomitting, and a doctor appointment. When Elizabeth walked in last night she had a crusty looking spot on her face. She also had spots all over her belly and some on her neck and face. Since Luke was vomitting and Elijah had diarrhea (Elizabeth also had both) Mike and Jane said they would take Elizabeth to her pediatrician. She has Impentigo. She had cut her ear on her earring and had been infected. (Impentigo is a type of staph infection). She also has a virus which is causing the gastrointestinal upset.

We have inflatable sword fighting, crying, yelling and more crying….”I miss Grandmaaaaaa!!!” It is back to normal for the Riley’s! 

Time flies when you’re having fun and enjoying the peace and quiet. Around 7:30 this evening I was checking email in my bedroom when I heard yelling and squeals……………….Mommmmmmyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ahhh, how precious are the little faces and hugs!  Within minutes the peace and solitude of the past week was erased from my consciousness. They had so much fun staying with Grandpa and Grandma. A week was plenty of time to hear stories about Daddy when he was a kid. I am so thankful for Elizabeth, Luke, Isaiah, and Elijah. They are precious gifts from God…………………..just really noisy ones

For anyone with access to a child under 6, here is an experiment to try: 

1) Take an object small enough to hide in one hand. Present both closed hands to the child and ask him to pick the hand with the object.

2) If he picks the hand with the object, take both hands behind your back and switch hands. Then bring both closed hands back to the front, then open the empty hand.

3) If the child first picks the empty hand, open it.

4) The child should then pick the closed hand.

5) Make the behind the back switch and then show the empty hand again.

6) The child should pick the closed hand again.

Keep doing this until you or the child tire of it because he will never figure out that you are making the switch behind your back.

I love messing with kids.

I’m not sure what age they figure it out. I think it may be around 5. Everyone try it out and report your results here.

I’m anxious to see what you find.]]>

Have you ever wondered why kids are so attracted to dirt? Not just the dirt that comes from the earth’s soil….any kind of dirt will do. Before I had kids I would be out in public and see little ones with dirt under their finger or (worse yet)toe nails. In my naive mind I thought what kind of parent would take their child in public looking that way?! Hehehehe……………..then I had my own kiddos and learned that there is some kind of dirt magnet that kids are born with!. Dirt can get in places that you may not even know are on the human body. Dirt can be a brood spectrum of things…….food leftover from any given meal, dirt from playing with worms (Elizabeth’s dirt of choice), toe jam or fuzz (you know, from the socks), general dirt from a week’s worth of playing……..the kind that accumulates and there seems to be light brown patches all over the body (this would be Luke’s type)and then the “nassy” kind which yep, you guessed it for Isaiah, under the toe nail dirt. This one cracks me up because he is in the house most of the time! Nassy is nasty in Isaiahnese! Even, the not so baby anymore, Elijah has dirt under his toe nails. I have yet to figure that one out! What can I say??………..Kids are dirt magnets!!!
What is even more disgusting is that on occasion the dirt will produce a smell. For instance, this morning Elizabeth took a bath and she still smelled. “Elizabeth, did you put on clean socks?” no answer……”go put clean socks on.” The smell disappeared when she put on clean socks. One week she did the same thing and called them her “lucky socks!”
I can accept the dirt and that it comes along with the kiddos. What I don’t understand is how upset they become when you ask them to dpart from the dirt..you know….wash their hands or actual bathing. I guess they have a relationship with the dirt in which parents can’t understand. They cry when we tell them to wash it away. So, I have become one of those moms who take their kids in public with dirt on their kids…not by choice, but by some unexplained physical phenomena only known to kids!